Roger Goodell shouldn't need Viagra

If you have kids, and you’ve watched pro football with them, then you probably have something in common with President Obama.

In his book The Audacity of Hope, he wrote, “…I wasn’t too happy with ads for erectile-dysfunction drugs popping up every 15 minutes whenever I watched a football game with my daughters in the room.”

That’s just the tip of the iceberg.

I have parental controls on my cable TV that filter out adult-rated movies and shows. When I watch the NFL with my kids, I wish I had the same controls for the ads. Ironically enough, Fox is the biggest offender, with previews for shows like House, 24, Dollhouse and Prison Break, mixing soft core porn and hard core violence in short yet offensive bursts.

If you think I’m overly sensitive, ask Common Sense Media. In their recently released study on the content of ads shown during NFL broadcasts, they concluded that "it was impossible to watch a single game without coming up against sex, violence, or Viagra." One in six of the ads shown during the broadcasts features content that's wildly inappropriate for kids. That's every other commercial break.

Common Sense Media's report found that 40% of the games included ads for erectile-dysfunction drugs and 44.7% of the violent or sexual advertisements were promotions by the networks for their own programs. And over 10% of the ads overall involved significant levels of sexuality, including scenes about prostitution and strippers.

The amazing thing is that professional leagues go to great lengths to project a squeaky clean, family friendly appearance. The NFL is especially good at protecting their image; the league office does everything they can to be America’s League (especially since they can’t stop their players from literally shooting themselves in the foot), policing their sidelines, their sponsors, and their affiliations.

They should do a better job of policing their airwaves.

Two bongs don't make a right

In this America, in this millenium, with the amount of celebrity stupidity that fills the news, is it really such huge news that a 23 year old had his picture taken with a cell phone camera while taking a bong hit?

The really important news was around which marketers decided to stick with him and which would throw him out quicker than stale bong water. Kellogg’s dumped him, Subway kept him. More to come. Personally, I think he’s the stiffest, most ineffective eight-time gold medal winner in history, and I never would’ve signed him to any contract in the first place with the amount of cash brands were paying him. I would rather have put my money on this guy.



Now that’s an endorser worth every penny.

Hot dogs, apple pie, Chevrolet, and bankruptcy

Citi Field is in danger of being called something different. Not surprisingly, the financial giant is being questioned for doling out $400 million for naming rights to the Mets’ new field, even though the deal was struck in 2006, years before the financial crisis hit.

The government granted Citi $45 billion (yes, with a “b”) as part of the bailout, and many good, hard working people of America are pissed that their tax dollars are paying for a formerly bloated and irresponsible financial institution to sponsor a bunch of boys playing ball. And rightly so.

I say, let the deal go through.

What better way for the government to spend our money? Baseball is the American game. The national pastime. What’s more red, white, and blue than green grass and clear skies on a hot summer day? Uncle Sam’s bailed out so many of our prized institutions already; cars, planes, New York City. It’s the American way.

Besides, who’s going to pick up the slack? The entities that normally go for this sort of thing don’t make much sense. Financial Organizations? Ha. Airlines? Travel ain’t happening. Automotive? Worst year for new car sales for 50 years.

Fast food isn’t hurting too much, and being a big fan of the #4 with light mayo (Turkey Tom), I cast one vote for calling it Jimmy John’s Field. With their penchant for Freaky Fastness, maybe they can help make the games a little quicker. If nothing else, you wouldn’t have to wait as long for the vendors to come around.

Let's hear it for the Nobodies

I have one thing and one thing only to say about the Super Bowl advertising because I’ve heard and talked and read enough about it.

Bravo to the nobodies from nowhere, the unemployed Herbert brothers from Batesville, Ohio, who bested the behemoths of advertising to capture the coveted top prize in the USA Today Ad Meter. Bob Lachky may jokingly say that he wants a recount, but with Bud’s streak being broken at 10, you know he’s not a happy guy. Same with the bosses at Pepsi who expected to come out on top and be showered with all of the bonus PR.

And their agencies aren't feeling too hot either.

For good measure, let’s watch again, and enjoy the never-gets-old comedic power of a crystal ball in the nuts. Watch and learn, ad guys. Watch and learn.

Puma is a Lose-a

By Sportscentric contributor Ben Schuman-Stoler

Note: this is also posted at The Building JJ Collective.



Puma has a history of audacious projects that, for one reason or another, always end up falling short of expectations. Remember those ridiculous one-piece soccer kits they proposed? (Look right.)

Their most recent collaboration with fashion icon Alexander McQueen is another project that seems destined to fall woefully short of their goals.

Dig the "movie"--to call such a project an "ad" would be positively beneath them, ha--above.

Directed by the sooo-hot-right-now Saam Farhamand, this, erm, collection of moving pictures is supposed to impress us with Puma's artistic vision? Their sophisticated attempts at unifying athletic wear with cosmopolitan notions of style and dance?

I can't speak for others, but the lasting sentiment I get from the piece is not inspiration; it's more in the realm of the weird and off-putting. The music is cool, I'll give them that. I would love to partake in an epic, rainy duel with that music in the background. But that's about all this has going for it.

Two words keep coming to mind when I watch this: impersonal and farfetched. Like the "Until Then" ads (below), this piece is impossible to relate to and therefore unattached to my own experience. I am not impressed with the choppy images we get of what might well be impressive human movements.

This does not make we want to buy Puma gear.

We know that Puma is not Nike, or Adidas. They should be saluted for thinking outside the box in their attempts to gain entry into the sportswear circle of gods. And maybe the concept of McQueen's "ManCat" as a "creative reference" (whatever that means) will bring a cadre of fashionistas to Puma. But this piece is, literally, too narrow to grab and incorporate potential customers--it does more to turn them away.

This is Bigger than the Super Bowl

The Super Bowl pre-game adverganza is in full swing. I’m fairly unimpressed with this set of ads (although both the dude in the speedo picking his nails and “I’m good” made me laugh), not to mention just a bit bored with all of the early hype. It all acts as a bit of a buzzkill for Sunday and makes me less interested in joining the horde writing about them.

I'm going to write about the world's biggest Slurpee instead.

In my mind, the Slurpee is one of the great American icons. I would put it up there with Super Rope and Smarties and Razzles and all of the great candy and munchies with fun names that have been around forever. Things that aren’t exactly food but are incredibly satisfying.

Thinking of Slurpees conjures up images of riding bikes to 7-11 on hot days after baseball games. Kids have been doing it for decades and still are. What’s better than a Coke Slurpee on a 90˚ day with the hopes of getting a brain freeze?

Slurpee has always done interesting ads—crazy, even—so it’s no surprise to see them doing something fun and different. What is surprising is to see it in Australia. They love it down there. They should. It's brilliant marketing because people are talking about it around the world and it's impossible not to know who it's for. Those Aussies do Slurpees proud. A lot more buzz than what most of the Super Bowl ads will get, and a lot less expensive than $3 million.

Hail Slurpee.

The hype before the hype

The Super Bowl advertising hype is ramping up. Not only will brands be duking it out for the best ads on the game telecast, they’re going head to head before the game even starts to get the early buzz. It’s kind of like the red carpet on steroids.

My favorite clash of the titans is between Pepsi and Coke. As always, they’re looking for an edge vs the other, and the delicious irony is that without knowing it, they’ve spent the past several months developing new campaigns that are mirror images of each other, featuring relentless optimism and unbridled happiness. It almost feels like there are sliding doors between the two agencies and the same creatives are going back and forth doing all the work.

Both sides are claiming they were first, but I’d file this one in the there-are-only-seven-original-ideas-in-the-whole-world department, especially in this year of Hope.

There are the usual differences; like last year’s Charlie Brown spot, Coke goes the way of warm and “ohh…nice…”

And like Pepsi Max’s bobbing heads spot from the past, they go the slapstick route again.

Both fun, with many more memorable ads to come. This one won’t be among them.

I know it's for PETA, but it might be a way to get a whole generation of boys to eat their vegetables...