A message for Reebok: You suck.

You suck for taking a brand with great potential and doing 17 random campaigns over 15 years.

You suck for spending 100’s of millions of dollars on properties like the NFL and barely ever activating them.

You suck for being so desperate for attention that you do an ad like this:



“Make your boobs jealous?”

Actually, it’s hard to blame the folks who created and made this ad. They came up with an attention-getting idea. But their challenge is to sell a shoe that’s “proven to shape your butt up to 28% more and your hamstrings and calves up to 11% more than regular sneakers.” Do you get a free bottle of snake oil with every pair? Forget the fact that the announcer talks so fast that the statistics are forgotten before he’s done talking. It’s the statistics themselves that are the head-shaker.

Don’t get me wrong: I liked this ad. With the sound turned off. It’s pleasing to boob likers, a group from which I wouldn’t exclude myself. But when the boobs start talking it feels like two boys in freshmen AV class wrote the dialogue and cast their ex-Valley Girl moms as the boob-overs.

Let’s just hope Reebok doesn’t come up with a new sports bra. I cringe just thinking about what the other body parts might have to say about that.